| I didnt mean for my last entry to be so nasty as it was. I was having a weird day, that was weird, and I don't like my friends saying they want to OD, or kill themselves, or anything of the sort that not only hurts themselves, but the ones they love.
Forgive me?
You know what it was? Almost everyone I talked to over tehs ummer and stuff, I am no longer close to, and ahve no idea what is happening in their lives, adn that makes me upset. When I read crap like that, it ticks me off, because I don't know what is wrong, and Is ee no way I can help them because I don't know waht is wrong. It saddens and upsets me. I don't mean to be nasty, but when graduation is 2 months away, and all of my high school friends no longer even tell me wahts happening, its depressing.
youd know how it felt if your brother and ssiter were out with friends and you didnt have anyone within 10 miles to call and hand out with, and your stuck with your parents.
It's worse when you don't even feel you have anyone to call to talk to because you dont know if you did anything to upset them or if they even know your still alive.
I dont like being distant from people, and I don't like not knowing how my friends are. I dont like not having any real close friends to hang otu with any more.
I used to go out all the time, with Nicole, Marybeth, Krissy, Katie D., all those guys, my friends, but now marybeth's in alaska, nicole... iono.., and krissy.. we dontr eally talk anymore, katie d, we dont really talk anymore... theres a bunch of people that I used to be best buds with, hangin out all the time and everything. They were there for me in support and had their arms open when I needed it, and now they are not there, I feel. Maybe its just, everyone else is moving on, and I'm stuck in the past, I dont know... but it saddens me a great deal.
but whatever. im just sad because I thought about it... not as many people as I thought there would be that im gonna miss. mostly because I dont know any of them anymore. *sigh*
o well. |
